How many times have you heard the importance of “mindset” in our industry?
Probably several times since “positive thinking” is one of the pillars of coaching.
Let’s look a little closer at what positive thinking is.
Instead of thinking ‘I’m a failure’, we’re told to think, ‘I’m a winner’. Instead of thinking ‘I look terrible’, we should think ‘I'm beautiful’. And it makes sense!
What we believe determines how we feel and what actions we take. If we believe that we can grow a successful coaching business, look fit, or find true love it’s much more likely to happen than if we believe that we can’t do it. But…
The problem with positive thinking is that even if we think positive thoughts, it’s not
going to do the trick unless the negative thoughts are addressed because they’re still in there undermining your success.
You see, positive thinking is right that you’re more likely to succeed with positive thoughts, but if deep down a part of you believes in the negative thoughts, and you just keep trying to flood your mind with the positive without ever addressing the negative, you’re self-sabotaging.
What to do instead…
Instead of trying to deny your negative thoughts, try embracing them for a while. Really sit and stew in that negativity for a while. Be with it. See what it’s really all about. Ask yourself, ‘where did this old thought pattern come from?’ and what am I really afraid of?’
In life, everything we fear is really a fear of a feeling… EVERYTHING.
If we can ‘be with’ our feelings, we aren’t ruled by them anymore, and we won’t run from them. The locked up negative thoughts and emotions can finally run their course and leave on their own when they are finished with us.
The more you can just be, the less negativity will creep into your mind to begin with because there will be less and less of it all the time!
Easier said than done.
This is a simple process, but it’s not an easy one. Basically, I’m asking you to stop running and really face up to what's happening inside of you. Running comes in many forms: TV, food, alcohol, sex, work, etc. If you overindulge in any of these, you may be running from something.
Being with whatever is in your head and in your body means that you stay present in the moment no matter how uncomfortable it gets.
That’s what great coaching does. It gets people to face up to what they're most afraid of and to deal with it in some way. But, that’s where many coaches fail their clients. They aren’t willing to take their clients into the deep, dark places.
If you want to keep your clients longer and have lasting results with them, go deeper!
I still recommend that you do keep thinking positive. It does work. Just as long as you don’t try to sweep all the ‘negative’ stuff under the rug.
I recommend you set aside some time to think about what you're trying to tuck away. Really sit with it and begin letting it run its course. It may take more than one session, but the results over time will dramatically improve your positive thinking results.
Are you ready to get more powerful results from your positive thinking?
Tell me what you think in the comments below.
Big Love,
Christian
